I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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