I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Terrible idea I love it
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
