..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
