I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
