i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
