Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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