Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Everyone says I win the strip club
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
