Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
