remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
