some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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