She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
