is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
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me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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