I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
