Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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