Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.