Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?