Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever