How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch