Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
