Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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