just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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