the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize