just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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