He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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