I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just wanna soil my oats bro
He kissed a someone with a penis
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This baby is an asshole
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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