I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
