i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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