kristin has been a bad kristin
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
