the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
