I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize