two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
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i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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