from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
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All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
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When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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