i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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