better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
