Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
