Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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