My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
