We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My underwear smells like fireworks.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
