I think i peed on brittanys purse
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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