I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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