I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
