yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
