God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
