I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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