The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
