but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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