the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
