I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi