Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.