im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
