If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Terrible idea I love it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
