You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
