can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
