I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
