I didn't shave. On purpose
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
