like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
