Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
