Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
