You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
