Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
