its not stalking. its research.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
