Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
