what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
