Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
