you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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