also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
