Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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