I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
