I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
